Enough is Enough

We as a culture have been ok with allowing opinions to hold as much power as facts for too long.


I have been avoiding Facebook because my levels of severe depression and hopelessness over the sheer level of denial that exists among people in this country have been shooting up pretty much everytime I am on there. Too many intelligent people I know are selfishly wearing blinders and ignoring all the actual data that is out there. People won't think for themselves or look at data or listen to reason. It's like people worshipping at the feet of the golden calf, but this is a golden gun.


It is proven fact that being male, growing up abused, suffering from addiction, having a previous history of violence, and having access to weapons are the main causes of violence in America. All of these need to be addressed, starting with the issues that can be dealt with most expediently.


I am no longer engaging ANYONE in discussions about reasonable gun control and how to change the tides of what is happening in our country. I will keep sharing things on social media as I feel necessary. If you spew blind ignorance and proof that you refuse to look at any actual data in response to anything I share you will be ignored and your response may be deleted if you start insulting me or anyone who is looking at actual facts.


I REFUSE to show tolerance for people's uninformed opinions anymore. The proof is there. It is there worldwide. If you don't want to bother to do your research (when the research is easily available) then you are choosing to be ignorant and I do not have to pamper you by giving your opinions based on any lack of actual information even a nod of respect.


We as a culture have been ok with allowing opinions to hold as much power as facts for too long. I no longer sit back and pander to uninformed opinions. I am done. I am taking a stand for factual data.

Individualism vs. Community

I think one of the things we as a culture need to consider is the whole "self-esteem" push. Yes, each of us matters. Yes, we don't want to base all of our decisions on what other people think. Yes, we should be happy in our own skin and confident in ourselves. No, people shouldn't judge other people. But... Humans do judge. Humans are well known for making snap decisions based on first impressions.


It's all well and good to say, "Be yourself!" but if being yourself involves no personal hygiene you shouldn't be surprised when no one wants to get within ten feet of you. If being yourself means showing no compassion or empathy for others then you aren't going to get very far in life. If being yourself means treating other people as less or as inconsequential then we end up with a lot of the problems we are now suffering from in this world.


I've talked about this with my boys. Other people's opinions of you DO matter. They matter in class, in the workforce, and socially. If a teacher likes you, you will have a better time in that class. If you antagonize your boss or coworkers, work will be miserable. If you don't consider your friends' wants and needs, you will soon find yourself without friends.


One of the big differences between our culture and others where there are more tightly knit community values and smoother social interactions is that those other countries place a HUGE value on respect for others and community as well as recognize that each person's actions affect the community around them.  They understand the concept of manners as social grease and the fact that it is easier for one person to get ahead if the whole group does, that one person alone can do nothing without the community that they grew from.


In America, we idolize the individual, which is great, but what is not great is when it is done at the expense of valuing the community that surrounds each person.  A superstar isn't a superstar in a vacuum.  They have crews, fans, and a social support network.  No one can go it alone and it's high time we as a country wake up to that fact.

Talk to Your Kids about Suicide and Depression Before It Is Too Late

As a parent who suffered from suicidal ideation when I was a teenager, I would like to bring something to the attention of all the parents out there. We tell our kids to talk to us if they get hurt, have weird physical symptoms, or are being bullied. They know that blood coming out of their bodies where it's not supposed to is bad. They know that there are medications to help various physical health problems, inhalers for asthma, etc.


How many of you have told your kids that thoughts like, "No one would care if I was gone" or "I'm useless and just cause problems" are symptoms of depression and not actual, real, true thoughts? That no matter what those thoughts whisper deceptively in their minds, you and their friends would absolutely miss them and be devastated if anything ever happened to them?


How many of you have explained what suicidal ideation is? Not just, "If you ever want to kill yourself you should tell someone," but pointing out that wanting to give up on everything, losing interest in things that you used to enjoy, and so on are also very dangerous symptoms of depression?


How many of you have told them that symptoms like that are caused by brain chemical imbalances and that there are medications out there that can help? That you will always take them seriously and take care of them even if the symptoms are mental and not physical?


Bringing up depression and suicidal ideation will NOT cause it. It will, however, give your kids a baseline of what is healthy and what is not when it comes to their mental health. They will know those thoughts are false and symptoms and not real and something to act on.


Just like it can be hard to talk to them about abuse and kidnapping and other things we, as parents, never want to happen to them, mental health discussions can be hard. We all want to think it will never be our kid. A lot of people keep thinking it won't be their kid until their kid acts on the symptomatic thoughts though. Please don't put yourself in that position.