Fear.
Fear is a thing most people rarely have to sit with.
Fear is a thing people avoid. They run from it. They close their eyes and pray it will go away.
Sometimes fear doesn't go away. Sometimes it is there to stay and nothing you do or say will convince it to leave.
Fear makes people want to lash out, to find a scapegoat, to find something, anything to blame and punish that might possibly make the fear go away so they no longer have be there, soaking in it, marinated by tears and anxiety and what ifs.
Fear is an unknown. It is about the unknown. It is about lack of answers, lack of stability, lack of safety.
Fear is that moment when you were little when you lost your parent in the store and had no idea where they were and if you would ever find them again. But then you did and all was well. That can't happen right now.
Right now we have to live with our fear, hold it's hand, comfort it like we would the little child crying because they lost their parent.
The thing is, it will get better. It might also get worse. It will very likely do both and possibly at the same time. That's a hard thing to digest, much the less accept.
Change happens. Change is scary. The unknown is scary. But Time also happens. Things change. You never step in the same river twice.
This isn't where we want to be. This isn't the life we want to be living, but it is the one we were dealt. We get to choose the cards to play, make the best of a bad hand and do our best to find some little bits of good among the fear.
Like with a chronic illness, it's not about what you've lost. It's about what you are still able to do. Mourn your losses and then focus on your strengths. Focus on what you CAN, not what you can't.
You have the choice every single moment of every single day to choose good. You aren't perfect. You won't get it right all the time and that's ok. Just try to choose the good over the bad as often as you can.
Learn to live with your fear, to comfort it when it cries out in terror at our current world. Know that you aren't alone. We are all here in this together. The world will get though this and will keep on turning.
