So I currently have a broken foot that I can't walk on for at least another five weeks and that's if I manage to not have surgery. It is amazing how difficult it is to take care of two little boys when you can't walk. It is really nice how wolf is stepping up and helping out when I ask him though.
Bear has started seeing a counselor and I'm finally resigning myself to the idea that there is a very good chance he is on the autism spectrum. He is on the high functioning end, but I've been told not to be surprised if he is diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when he gets older. It could be much worse all things considered, but it's still hard to wrap my mind around. Knowing all of this hasn't made living with him much easier, but the counselor is giving me some good advice on how to shift our parenting practices to work with the way his brain works.
On an amusing note, Wolf has started EPGY a program put out by Stanford for bright kids. He actually asks to do his math homework even though it is summer. He also asked my recently how to say zombie in Greek. Only my child!!!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
It's been a while
A lot has happened since the last time I wrote, which is probably why its been so long since I've written anything.
Some quick updates: Wolf did not make it into the Davidson program, but we'll be sending them more info soon that might make a difference. Bear has finally been referred for an Occupational Therapy Evaluation and an evaluation by a child psychologist. I am now the Committee Chair for Cub Scout Pack 654.
We also found out the Social studies book we've been using with Wolf was actually a third grade book not a first grade one.
Now for the fun stuff:
Wolf just figured out division in his head with no real prior explanation! He had to figure out the factors of 60 and said, "Well, 3 goes into 6 twice, but then there's the zero." I jumped in and showed him how it works on paper and he got it immediately. He was so proud of himself and can't wait to tell his ISP teacher the next time he sees her.
Speaking of which, his teacher copied out the last page of his last fractions book (the first in a series of four books our school system uses to bring remedial high school students up to speed) and brought it to the high school math teacher. (I love her sense of humor!!!). She showed it to the poor unsuspecting teacher who looked it over and said, "Looks like the kid has dyslexia." Wolf's teacher said something along the lines of, "That's not the problem, the number reversal is age appropriate. The student is 5." High school teacher's jaw hit the floor according to Wolf's teacher. She added, "You're going to be seeing him in a couple of years." To which the high school teacher responded, "Nope, he'll probably skip right past me." She was curious what Wolf's teacher did with a kid like that. I think the response was, "I'm not sure, but it's working so far." LOL!
Some quick updates: Wolf did not make it into the Davidson program, but we'll be sending them more info soon that might make a difference. Bear has finally been referred for an Occupational Therapy Evaluation and an evaluation by a child psychologist. I am now the Committee Chair for Cub Scout Pack 654.
We also found out the Social studies book we've been using with Wolf was actually a third grade book not a first grade one.
Now for the fun stuff:
Wolf just figured out division in his head with no real prior explanation! He had to figure out the factors of 60 and said, "Well, 3 goes into 6 twice, but then there's the zero." I jumped in and showed him how it works on paper and he got it immediately. He was so proud of himself and can't wait to tell his ISP teacher the next time he sees her.
Speaking of which, his teacher copied out the last page of his last fractions book (the first in a series of four books our school system uses to bring remedial high school students up to speed) and brought it to the high school math teacher. (I love her sense of humor!!!). She showed it to the poor unsuspecting teacher who looked it over and said, "Looks like the kid has dyslexia." Wolf's teacher said something along the lines of, "That's not the problem, the number reversal is age appropriate. The student is 5." High school teacher's jaw hit the floor according to Wolf's teacher. She added, "You're going to be seeing him in a couple of years." To which the high school teacher responded, "Nope, he'll probably skip right past me." She was curious what Wolf's teacher did with a kid like that. I think the response was, "I'm not sure, but it's working so far." LOL!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Homeschooling really isn't that hard or why duplo blocks make good molecules
When we started Wolf in the Independent Study Program I thought it would be a lot of work, but that's not how it is turning out. In all actuality I do almost no "official" teaching. We just read his worksheets, he gets the concept and does the work. I almost never have to explain anything more than once or in a different way for him to "get" it.
We read science magazines, watch Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs and read chapters out of his social studies book every so often. We work in the garden, go for walks, go to martial arts and Cub Scout meetings. He soaks up so much information just by living. More than anything else we do, we talk.
The other day a friend of ours who is really into molecular biology asked Wolf if he wanted to learn about it and, when Wolf said yes, proceeded to go on about it for at least ten to fifteen minutes. Afterward, on our way home, I asked wolf if he wanted me to draw him some pictures to explain what our friend had been talking about, which he did. At home we had a lesson on molecules and how atoms go together to make them. We talked about electrons, protons and neutrons and electrons. We talked about the different states of matter and how the movement of molecules was related to that. Then he asked, "If atoms make up molecules and protons and neutrons make up atoms, what are atoms made of?" I said I'd go into that later! Then he asked, "Well what happens when things break?" I told him I'd get back to him on that.
I went online to a forum that deals with kids like Wolf and Bear and asked for a simple way to explain that. I got several responses, including one that was junior college level. That was the one I ended up working with. A couple days later I pulled out the Duplo blocks and explained that they were molecules. Each molecule has a positive and negative section which is how they fit together. When things break it's that bond between the two that breaks and I broke apart the blocks. Then I explained that if you take a hammer to one of the blocks it stops being a block and becomes a pile of plastic bits. That is basically what happens when a molecule is broken apart into its constituent atoms. It's a lot harder to do than just breaking the bonds between molecules. Wolf got it all right away.
Then we went into chemical reactions, like having a fire in the fire place...
Then we went online and found out what makes up protons and neutrons...
His first grade science book (we finished the workbook in a month or so) goes into solid, liquid and gas. No details mind you, just the terms and very basic concepts. Molecules aren't mentioned anywhere.
We read science magazines, watch Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs and read chapters out of his social studies book every so often. We work in the garden, go for walks, go to martial arts and Cub Scout meetings. He soaks up so much information just by living. More than anything else we do, we talk.
The other day a friend of ours who is really into molecular biology asked Wolf if he wanted to learn about it and, when Wolf said yes, proceeded to go on about it for at least ten to fifteen minutes. Afterward, on our way home, I asked wolf if he wanted me to draw him some pictures to explain what our friend had been talking about, which he did. At home we had a lesson on molecules and how atoms go together to make them. We talked about electrons, protons and neutrons and electrons. We talked about the different states of matter and how the movement of molecules was related to that. Then he asked, "If atoms make up molecules and protons and neutrons make up atoms, what are atoms made of?" I said I'd go into that later! Then he asked, "Well what happens when things break?" I told him I'd get back to him on that.
I went online to a forum that deals with kids like Wolf and Bear and asked for a simple way to explain that. I got several responses, including one that was junior college level. That was the one I ended up working with. A couple days later I pulled out the Duplo blocks and explained that they were molecules. Each molecule has a positive and negative section which is how they fit together. When things break it's that bond between the two that breaks and I broke apart the blocks. Then I explained that if you take a hammer to one of the blocks it stops being a block and becomes a pile of plastic bits. That is basically what happens when a molecule is broken apart into its constituent atoms. It's a lot harder to do than just breaking the bonds between molecules. Wolf got it all right away.
Then we went into chemical reactions, like having a fire in the fire place...
Then we went online and found out what makes up protons and neutrons...
His first grade science book (we finished the workbook in a month or so) goes into solid, liquid and gas. No details mind you, just the terms and very basic concepts. Molecules aren't mentioned anywhere.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
SPD, SID, DSI Oh My!
So it is mostly official, Bear has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) also know as Sensory Integration Dysfunction (SID or DSI) and by several other names. What this means in the most basic terms is that we aren't bad parents and he isn't a bad kid, he just has a bit of a short circuit that makes dealing with things that other people take for granted (like basic transitions) very difficult. It also means that there are ways to help him cope with it and possibly even eventually make it easier for him rather than just something that has to be coped with.
The poster child for SPD/SID is the kid that can't handle tags in their shirts, socks whose seams sit wrong, any clothing other than sweats and more than a few simple foods. Another would be the kid who flies around the room banging into things, has no sense of fear and can spin or swing for hours and hours and hours (literally). Then there is the kid who can't handle bright lights, loud noises, or crowds.
The main way it presents in Bear is that he has a very abnormal difficulty with transitions and new places or people. His way of showing this is through horrible screaming tantrums that he often doesn't have the emotional control to calm down out of. He will tantrum over leaving the house to go to music class (which he loves) or when we attempt to change his clothes. He will tantrum when there is an unavoidable change in his schedule. He will tantrum when anything in his world is not ordered in the way he feels it is supposed to be.
Of course it also depends on the day. Some days are fine and some days are horrible. That's one of the interesting things about SPD, it doesn't show the same way all the time. It's like he has a frustration meter and some days he starts with it already almost full while other days it is empty.
The other “fun” thing about SPD is that it isn't officially recognized as a stand alone disorder. It should be soon, but until then insurance companies tend not to support it and government agencies will not provide support for it. Basically this means that unless Bear has something else with initials he probably won't be able to get any support from the school district even though this will affect his ability to function in a class setting. As it is he missed qualifying for our state's early intervention program (up to age 3) by 5%. I was told that if the testers had seen him tantrum he would have qualified. I was also told that he would have qualified if he had been tested earlier in the year before the laws changed.
The occupational therapy (OT) that we have learned about is helping, which is nice. One of his favorite OT things is to be gathered up in a blanket and swung around. It actually helps him get calm enough to sleep. In fact he's actually slept through the night two days in a row now. I've also found that tossing him around and rocking him vigorously can stop a tantrum as it is starting if I catch it early enough. He just got a Sit and Spin and is getting a mini trampoline for his birthday, both of which are supposed to help. Chiropractic helps also, lessening the occurrence of the really long tantrums.
It is horribly frustrating. There is obviously a glitch in his system, but it doesn't show on the outside. All other people see is a screaming kid who is spoiled about getting things his own way. He doesn't have enough initials to qualify for state support, but needs support none-the-less. Sigh...
The poster child for SPD/SID is the kid that can't handle tags in their shirts, socks whose seams sit wrong, any clothing other than sweats and more than a few simple foods. Another would be the kid who flies around the room banging into things, has no sense of fear and can spin or swing for hours and hours and hours (literally). Then there is the kid who can't handle bright lights, loud noises, or crowds.
The main way it presents in Bear is that he has a very abnormal difficulty with transitions and new places or people. His way of showing this is through horrible screaming tantrums that he often doesn't have the emotional control to calm down out of. He will tantrum over leaving the house to go to music class (which he loves) or when we attempt to change his clothes. He will tantrum when there is an unavoidable change in his schedule. He will tantrum when anything in his world is not ordered in the way he feels it is supposed to be.
Of course it also depends on the day. Some days are fine and some days are horrible. That's one of the interesting things about SPD, it doesn't show the same way all the time. It's like he has a frustration meter and some days he starts with it already almost full while other days it is empty.
The other “fun” thing about SPD is that it isn't officially recognized as a stand alone disorder. It should be soon, but until then insurance companies tend not to support it and government agencies will not provide support for it. Basically this means that unless Bear has something else with initials he probably won't be able to get any support from the school district even though this will affect his ability to function in a class setting. As it is he missed qualifying for our state's early intervention program (up to age 3) by 5%. I was told that if the testers had seen him tantrum he would have qualified. I was also told that he would have qualified if he had been tested earlier in the year before the laws changed.
The occupational therapy (OT) that we have learned about is helping, which is nice. One of his favorite OT things is to be gathered up in a blanket and swung around. It actually helps him get calm enough to sleep. In fact he's actually slept through the night two days in a row now. I've also found that tossing him around and rocking him vigorously can stop a tantrum as it is starting if I catch it early enough. He just got a Sit and Spin and is getting a mini trampoline for his birthday, both of which are supposed to help. Chiropractic helps also, lessening the occurrence of the really long tantrums.
It is horribly frustrating. There is obviously a glitch in his system, but it doesn't show on the outside. All other people see is a screaming kid who is spoiled about getting things his own way. He doesn't have enough initials to qualify for state support, but needs support none-the-less. Sigh...
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Why Bear is still a baby
Bear will be three in a couple of weeks now. He has been speaking in full sentences since he was a year old. He is HUGE compared to the other kids his age we know and yet I still call him a baby. Not a toddler, not a preschooler, but a baby.
People keep asking me why I call him a baby and I explain I did the same thing with Wolf. Until my kids tell me that they aren't babies anymore and that I shouldn't call them that they remain babies. When Wolf told me he wasn't a baby I stopped using that term for him.
The reasoning behind this is that our society pushes kids to grow up faster than is really healthy for them, in my opinion. Every aspect of many children's lives is scheduled. Even playing with other kids is written into the day planner as a "playdate." The problem becomes magnified when your kids are functioning several grades above their age. Kids get to be babies for such a small portion of their lives that I simply refuse to take that away from them before they let it go on their own. I know it probably isn't a conscious decision for them, but it is still their decision made on their own.
People keep asking me why I call him a baby and I explain I did the same thing with Wolf. Until my kids tell me that they aren't babies anymore and that I shouldn't call them that they remain babies. When Wolf told me he wasn't a baby I stopped using that term for him.
The reasoning behind this is that our society pushes kids to grow up faster than is really healthy for them, in my opinion. Every aspect of many children's lives is scheduled. Even playing with other kids is written into the day planner as a "playdate." The problem becomes magnified when your kids are functioning several grades above their age. Kids get to be babies for such a small portion of their lives that I simply refuse to take that away from them before they let it go on their own. I know it probably isn't a conscious decision for them, but it is still their decision made on their own.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Davidson and Bunny
We just sent in Wolf's application to the Davidson Young Scholar Program. It is a program aimed at serving extremely gifted young people between the ages of five and eighteen. We're hoping that he will be able to meet more kids like himself and get help finding special programs. I'm am SO bad at waiting though. I am pretty sure he will qualify, but you never know. By the time the process is over, possibly as long as six weeks from now, I will undoubtedly be a nervous wreck.
So we go from how advanced Wolf is to how he is still only five years old. This evening I found our younger rat, Bunny, a blue dumbo hairless rat, dead in her cage. Brendan has lost pets before, but this was the first one he had really attached to. All the others have been fish or reptiles, not nearly as cuddly. He is so sad and so hurt and so, well just plain confused by all of it. He has all of these emotions and hasn't had the experience to understand what he is feeling. It hurts to watch him hurt and it doesn't help that I'm hurting too. She was an adorable and wonderful pet.
Tomorrow we are going to bury her in the back yard in our little cemetery. She'll have a blanket and some food and we will get to say goodbye. I've explained that the part of her that made her Bunny still exists, that it is just her body that died and now her body will be able to become part of the earth and the trees that grow nearby. I've told him she is alive in our hearts and memories and the part that made her Bunny will never die. It's a hard enough concept for adults to comprehend.
So we go from how advanced Wolf is to how he is still only five years old. This evening I found our younger rat, Bunny, a blue dumbo hairless rat, dead in her cage. Brendan has lost pets before, but this was the first one he had really attached to. All the others have been fish or reptiles, not nearly as cuddly. He is so sad and so hurt and so, well just plain confused by all of it. He has all of these emotions and hasn't had the experience to understand what he is feeling. It hurts to watch him hurt and it doesn't help that I'm hurting too. She was an adorable and wonderful pet.
Tomorrow we are going to bury her in the back yard in our little cemetery. She'll have a blanket and some food and we will get to say goodbye. I've explained that the part of her that made her Bunny still exists, that it is just her body that died and now her body will be able to become part of the earth and the trees that grow nearby. I've told him she is alive in our hearts and memories and the part that made her Bunny will never die. It's a hard enough concept for adults to comprehend.
Friday, January 15, 2010
How many parents have had this conversation?
I had a conversation today with Wolf (almost 5 1/2 years old now) that I think will go down in the annals of history as the only time this particular conversation has and will EVER take place.
Wolf has been dragging his feet about schoolwork recently. We had FINALLY found a level of difficulty that wasn't too hard or too easy for him (or so I thought) and had cut down on things that he wasn't as interested in, so I was really at a loss.
Anyway today he was taking FOREVER to do a page of math that should take him only about 5-10 minutes because it was a new version of something he knew how to do. I asked him what was up and he burst into tears crying, "I wanna do 4th grade work. I wanna do 4th grade work. I wanna do 4th grade work." I cuddled and rocked him and asked, "But why?" He sniffled and replied, "Because I want more challenge."
I teared up and tried not to laugh at the same time. I mean, what do you say at a moment like that? I ended up telling him that I love him and that 4th grade work would be too frustrating for him until he learned to multiply and divide easily (I couldn't come up with anything else). It seemed to satisfy him though and he went back to his work and actually concentrated and got it done quickly.
Wolf has been dragging his feet about schoolwork recently. We had FINALLY found a level of difficulty that wasn't too hard or too easy for him (or so I thought) and had cut down on things that he wasn't as interested in, so I was really at a loss.
Anyway today he was taking FOREVER to do a page of math that should take him only about 5-10 minutes because it was a new version of something he knew how to do. I asked him what was up and he burst into tears crying, "I wanna do 4th grade work. I wanna do 4th grade work. I wanna do 4th grade work." I cuddled and rocked him and asked, "But why?" He sniffled and replied, "Because I want more challenge."
I teared up and tried not to laugh at the same time. I mean, what do you say at a moment like that? I ended up telling him that I love him and that 4th grade work would be too frustrating for him until he learned to multiply and divide easily (I couldn't come up with anything else). It seemed to satisfy him though and he went back to his work and actually concentrated and got it done quickly.
Monday, January 11, 2010
I'm not sure I will ever get used to how unique our "normal" is
I'm not sure if it is a kind of denial or a necessary layer of protection for my sanity but I always have anxiety hit when someone takes my happy "normal" life and reminds me how far from average my "normal" is.
Today Wolf's teacher and I met with the school district psychologist who has YEARS of experience with GATE (Gifted and Talented Education) and even worked in a state that had GIEP's (Gifted Individual Education Plans, CA only has them for students with delays). She also raised a couple of gifted kids of her own so I figured she would have lots of experience with kids like Wolf. Wolf's teacher asked her about raising her gifted kids and she said they were nothing like Wolf or not in the same league or something else that made me feel very uncomfortably aware of how non-average he is. The psychologist is really hoping they can talk the district into allowing her to test him as soon as he turns six. I'm not complaining, a tester with years of experience testing bright kids is something I have heard is hard to come by. The thing that really got me was that she would so it tomorrow if she could!
They came up with several ideas to research to help Wolf with enrichment and socialization which was what I was hoping for. I got a lot out of the meeting and it was great to meet and talk to her, but it really brought home how out there we really are... When the gifted teachers/psychs are impressed it sort of tells you something. Sigh...
On another "normal" note, Bear can now turn on the computer, open up his profile, launch our browser and go to the site he wants in the bookmarks menu. He can also shut down the computer. All on his own. His third birthday is coming up next month a robot and Buzz Lightyear theme it seems...
I also tricked him into reading for me. We knew he could read having caught him doing so every now and then, but unlike his brother, he won't display his abilities when asked. In fact he says "I can't" to which we answer, "Yes, you can. We SAW you!" Anyway I was reading a book he had never seen before to him and was running my finger under the words. After the first few words I stopped reading and he started. He read the book to me twice when all was said and done. It was a one sentence per page type book, but I'm pretty impressed. Then he did some basic math for me in the car, 1+1, 2-1, 3+1. I hadn't known he could do math until then.
So these boys are my "normal" and it's all I can do to keep up with them. I don't force feed them calculus in their sleep or strap them to chairs and make them write term papers. Heck all I do is try to provide them with what they want and need. They just soak it all in like little sponges. It constantly amazes me how they can pick something up after only seeing it once or twice. They LOVE learning. They are so vibrant and full of interest and drive, it's just beautiful to experience it with them.
Today Wolf's teacher and I met with the school district psychologist who has YEARS of experience with GATE (Gifted and Talented Education) and even worked in a state that had GIEP's (Gifted Individual Education Plans, CA only has them for students with delays). She also raised a couple of gifted kids of her own so I figured she would have lots of experience with kids like Wolf. Wolf's teacher asked her about raising her gifted kids and she said they were nothing like Wolf or not in the same league or something else that made me feel very uncomfortably aware of how non-average he is. The psychologist is really hoping they can talk the district into allowing her to test him as soon as he turns six. I'm not complaining, a tester with years of experience testing bright kids is something I have heard is hard to come by. The thing that really got me was that she would so it tomorrow if she could!
They came up with several ideas to research to help Wolf with enrichment and socialization which was what I was hoping for. I got a lot out of the meeting and it was great to meet and talk to her, but it really brought home how out there we really are... When the gifted teachers/psychs are impressed it sort of tells you something. Sigh...
On another "normal" note, Bear can now turn on the computer, open up his profile, launch our browser and go to the site he wants in the bookmarks menu. He can also shut down the computer. All on his own. His third birthday is coming up next month a robot and Buzz Lightyear theme it seems...
I also tricked him into reading for me. We knew he could read having caught him doing so every now and then, but unlike his brother, he won't display his abilities when asked. In fact he says "I can't" to which we answer, "Yes, you can. We SAW you!" Anyway I was reading a book he had never seen before to him and was running my finger under the words. After the first few words I stopped reading and he started. He read the book to me twice when all was said and done. It was a one sentence per page type book, but I'm pretty impressed. Then he did some basic math for me in the car, 1+1, 2-1, 3+1. I hadn't known he could do math until then.
So these boys are my "normal" and it's all I can do to keep up with them. I don't force feed them calculus in their sleep or strap them to chairs and make them write term papers. Heck all I do is try to provide them with what they want and need. They just soak it all in like little sponges. It constantly amazes me how they can pick something up after only seeing it once or twice. They LOVE learning. They are so vibrant and full of interest and drive, it's just beautiful to experience it with them.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Well we made the right decision
I have been reading about the social and emotional health of "gifted" kids and one of the things that I took note of was that elementary school kids were bothered by the fact that no one ever explained the term to them. They knew they were different and were in different classes, but never really understood why.
One day I asked Wolf if he knew why he was in Independent Study in first grade and not in a regular Kindergarten classroom. He replied that he did not. I asked him if he wanted to know and he said yes.
I explained that if he was in a classroom with children his age he would be learning the alphabet, how to count to twenty, how to sound out and read basic words like cat, and that he wouldn't be learning Spanish or Logic or root words. I told he we had put a lot of thought into which option to choose and had decided that putting him in an environment where he could work at his level and be challenged would be the best idea. I asked him if he would rather be in a regular classroom and his response was, "NO! It would be way too boring."
I take that as proof we made the right choice...
One day I asked Wolf if he knew why he was in Independent Study in first grade and not in a regular Kindergarten classroom. He replied that he did not. I asked him if he wanted to know and he said yes.
I explained that if he was in a classroom with children his age he would be learning the alphabet, how to count to twenty, how to sound out and read basic words like cat, and that he wouldn't be learning Spanish or Logic or root words. I told he we had put a lot of thought into which option to choose and had decided that putting him in an environment where he could work at his level and be challenged would be the best idea. I asked him if he would rather be in a regular classroom and his response was, "NO! It would be way too boring."
I take that as proof we made the right choice...
Friday, December 18, 2009
What do you do when...
... Your two year and ten month old son gets bored waiting for you to load up the website he wants and simply opens the bookmarks menu, scrolls up and down looking for the site he wants, finds it and opens it?
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